Ep. 105: How to Live a Fulfilled Life (Even When You Feel Lost)

Habits, Health

October 15, 2025

How to Live a Fulfilled Life: My 2nd Anniversary Reflections

If you’ve ever found yourself quietly wondering how to live a fulfilled life—like, actually fulfilled, not just “busy” or “fine”—this episode is for you.

Episode 105 of The Lost & Found Podcast marks two years of me showing up behind the mic. Two years of learning in public. Two years of trying to build something meaningful without pretending I have it all figured out.

And if I’m being honest? I recorded this one with one big fear sitting right next to me: I don’t want to wake up one day and realize I lived an unfulfilled life.

Not because I didn’t have opportunities… but because I didn’t choose myself when it counted.

Why this anniversary episode matters to me

I didn’t want to do a “highlight reel” episode. That’s not what this show is, and it’s not who I am.

This episode is a reflection—on what I’ve learned, what I’m still learning, and what I keep seeing in the lives of people around me (especially in my family) that makes me take fulfillment seriously. Because here’s the thing: fulfillment isn’t motivational-poster energy. Fulfillment is a practice. It’s decisions. It’s commitment. It’s uncomfortable honesty.

And it’s realizing that time is happening whether we’re participating in our lives… or not.

The Truth I Keep Coming Back To

If you want my simplest answer for how to live a fulfilled life, it’s this: You have to define what “fulfilled” means to you—and then you have to build your life around it on purpose.

Not passively. Not someday. Not once you feel ready. On purpose.

Because if you don’t decide what matters to you, the world will decide for you. Your job will decide. Your relationship will decide. Your fear will decide. Your comfort will decide. And none of those things are automatically bad, but they are terrible drivers.

The Top Ten Regrets People Have When They Die

In this episode, I share a list I saved from Instagram about the things people tend to regret later in life and I talk through what each one brings up for me. Here are the big themes with real-life “Okay, but what do I do with that?” takeaways.

1) Fear of Commitment

One of the biggest regrets people carry is realizing they spent most of their life half-in, because commitment felt like a trap. They delayed choosing a career path, delayed choosing a partner (or leaving one), delayed choosing a city, delayed choosing themselves — because “what if the other option was better?”

But here’s the thing: commitment isn’t about being 100% sure. It’s about being 100% present. Most people don’t regret the thing they chose — they regret that they never let themselves fully try. They never gave anything enough time to take root. They kept one foot out the door “just in case,” and then years pass and they’re still stuck in the same place, still waiting to feel ready.

I think the hardest part is admitting this: staying uncommitted isn’t neutral. It’s still a choice — and it usually costs you momentum, confidence, and the deep fulfillment that comes from building something over time.

2) Living in Your Head

A lot of regret comes from realizing you lived inside your head more than you lived in your actual life.

Overthinking can look like “planning,” “researching,” “waiting for clarity,” “getting your ducks in a row.” But a lot of the time, it’s fear dressed up as productivity. It’s scrolling, comparing, narrating, analyzing every possible outcome… instead of doing the thing.

And what’s wild is that living in your head doesn’t just steal your future — it steals your present. You miss conversations because you’re thinking about what you should’ve said. You miss joy because you’re worrying about how long it’ll last. You miss opportunities because you’re obsessing over how you might fail.

I think people regret how much time they spent mentally rehearsing a life they never actually stepped into.

3) Neglecting Your Health

This is a big one because it’s sneaky — your health doesn’t always “feel urgent” until it is.

A lot of people don’t regret not having a six-pack. They regret that they didn’t protect their energy, their mobility, their strength, their mind. They regret pushing their body to the side for years because they were too busy surviving, working, caregiving, people-pleasing, proving something, or numbing out.

And then one day, the consequences show up. Your body starts keeping score. Your mental health starts demanding attention. And you realize your life got smaller because you didn’t prioritize the one thing that literally carries you through everything: your physical and emotional well-being.

Taking care of your health isn’t about vanity. It’s about capacity. It’s about being able to do the things you say you want to do — and actually enjoy them.

4) Needing to Control the Outcome

This regret is so common: people look back and realize they avoided living because they were obsessed with certainty.

They didn’t take the trip because “what if something goes wrong?” They didn’t apply for the job because “what if I don’t get it?” They didn’t leave the relationship because “what if I regret it?” They didn’t start the business because “what if it fails?”

And the tragedy is: you can spend your entire life trying to control outcomes, and the outcome is still going to outcome. Life is still going to life. The only thing you really control is whether you participate in your own story.

When you live attached to outcomes, you become terrified of failure — but you also become terrified of success, because success means more exposure, more responsibility, more change.

Most people regret how many years they spent waiting for guarantees that were never coming.

5) Pessimism and Self-victimizing

This one is tender, because I know pessimism can come from real pain. But there’s a difference between acknowledging your wounds and building your identity around them.

A lot of people regret living their whole life in the mindset of “this always happens to me,” “I never get picked,” “nothing works out,” “I’m just unlucky,” “life is against me.” Not because bad things didn’t happen — but because the story they kept repeating became a self-fulfilling prophecy.

When you believe the world is against you, you stop taking risks. You stop showing up. You stop trying. And then your life stays the same, which “proves” the belief, and the cycle continues.

I think people regret the years they gave away to a narrative that was never fully true and never fully theirs to carry.

6) Refusing to Unlearn What No Longer Works

Some people don’t change because they can’t. They don’t change because they won’t.

They cling to old beliefs, old coping mechanisms, old identities — even when those things are clearly hurting them — because it’s familiar. Because changing requires humility. Changing requires admitting: “I’ve been wrong,” or “this version of me isn’t working anymore,” or “I’ve outgrown this.”

Unlearning can look like letting go of the need to be liked. Letting go of toxic habits. Letting go of control. Letting go of old definitions of success that were handed to you by someone else.

A lot of regret comes from realizing you stayed loyal to a version of yourself that you should’ve allowed to evolve.

7) Arrogance and Refusing to Acknowledge Collateral Damage

This is the part nobody likes to talk about, but it matters. Some people regret how pride kept them from healing relationships, owning their mistakes, or seeing the impact of their choices. They regret doubling down when they should’ve softened. They regret being “right” instead of being connected.

Arrogance doesn’t always look like ego. Sometimes it looks like defensiveness. Sometimes it looks like never apologizing. Sometimes it looks like blaming everyone else. Sometimes it looks like “that’s just how I am.”

And the reason it becomes a regret is because life is too short to be at war with everyone. And when people are honest in the later years, they don’t usually wish they’d won more arguments — they wish they’d protected more love.

8) Lack of Generosity

This one isn’t only about money. It’s about generosity in the ways that actually count. People regret being too busy to call. Too distracted to listen. Too consumed by their own stress to show up for someone else. Too focused on achievement to be present with the people who loved them for free.

And I think what makes it painful is that you don’t always realize the “last time” is the last time. The last time you have that dinner. The last time you get that phone call. The last time someone asks you to hang out.

A fulfilled life is built on relationships. It’s built on community. It’s built on giving and receiving love — not just building a résumé.

9) Missing Serendipity

This regret hits hard for people who stayed small out of fear. Because opportunities are often less about talent and more about proximity. Being in the room. Being around the people doing the thing. Being willing to be awkward. Being willing to introduce yourself. Being willing to be seen before you feel ready.

So many people look back and realize they could’ve met the mentor, found the job, discovered the passion, built the friendships — if they’d just stopped isolating. If they’d just shown up.

Serendipity feels like luck, but a lot of the time it’s “your effort finally collided with the right environment.”

10) Having No Long-term Mindset

This one is the gut punch.

People regret living like tomorrow is guaranteed. Like they’ll call later. Like they’ll travel someday. Like they’ll start the thing once life calms down. Like they’ll change when it’s more convenient.

But life doesn’t usually calm down — we just get used to the chaos. And time passes quietly while we’re waiting for the “right moment.”

A long-term mindset doesn’t mean living in fear. It means living with clarity. It means making decisions your future self won’t resent. It means treating your life like it matters now… because it does.

If You Feel Lost Right Now

If you’re in a season of identity loss—career changes, heartbreak, grief, a mental health spiral, a “who even am I?” moment—I want you to know this: You’re not behind. You’re not broken. You’re not failing at life.

You’re in the part of the story where you’re being asked to tell the truth. And that truth can become the doorway to fulfillment—because the opposite of a fulfilled life isn’t struggle.

The opposite is numbing.

So if you’re wondering how to live a fulfilled life, start with the smallest honest step you can take today. Not the whole staircase. Just the next step.

If you’ve been stuck between who you were and who you’re becoming, this episode gives you both language and leverage to take your next step.

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